I am going to make a rare post to my personal journal to all on my friends page:
Please tell me ALL you want to about yourself! That's it! Anything, likes, dislikes, interests, education, age, location, who you live with, anything eating disorder related (history, habits, etc. if you want), what do you do in spare time, where you work, future career, hopes, dreams, favorite anything (book, tv, websites, movies, colors, foods, places, etc), boy/girlfriends, best friends, regrets, bad/good memories...
Okay so I hope you get the idea- have fun! :)

Merry Christmas! :)

I confess: I B/P tonight, so while I feel like this, I want to write that I really do not want to do it again before Thursday (well I NEVER want to, but as a short term goal).
So, note to self, DON'T!

Uck my mouth feels kind of numb... I think I will do water only Tues and Wed, and see where my weight is and then go from there.
Take care everyone :)

Yep I am trying very hard. I am really going to cut back on the B/P. It's just never enjoyable anymore. I think I would rather shift my ED to the restrictive anorectic mindset and get into eating really healthy, low calorie foods. That is better for now.

This is an accountability post. The last time I B/P was Thursday. I promised myself I won't do it at least until Halloween/Tuesday. I happen to know that from now until then may be really hard. I don't have to water fast (I haven't gained weight or anything), just not binge. Then obviously no purging either. I have so many other things I would rather be doing.

I completed my 3 day fast. Today is the day I will be with people, and I am at the weight I want now. Of course, I will probably B/P when I get home tonight. I feel so bad saying that because I like where I am at NOW, but... one step at a time...

(weight this morning 90.2)

Yes! Day 1 of my fast done, and this morning I did not want to weigh myself because I have a certain goal for Sunday morning, but I did and it was good. I think I will be there on Sunday. Yay!
That is, if I don't B/P until then. I figure, sure it may feel hard to fast, but I will feel worse if I B/P. It's not like it's forever- just today and tomorrow. Then Sunday I am allowed to eat. No big deal.

Yay yay I am fasting until Sunday when I will be in social situations (aka. includes food). I get excited at the beginning of fasts :)

Sorry again I don't update much...

I am water fasting from this evening until Monday- really more like 4.5 days when you think hours but I look at is as 4 DAYS: Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

and I happen to know I am not going to go back on it. During this time, I am going to catch up on schoolwork, too. That is very important to me!

So I will update, too:

Last weekend I was happy with my weight for the party. Of course, I slipped a little when it was over. I really want to control my BP. It's not very fun anymore because I do it when I don't want to. These are my very short term goals for this week: I will definitely get to 95.0 pounds. I am between 96 and 97 now I think. I am going to try really hard to restrict and not trigger a BP. I HAVE GOT to get used to keeping food in without turning it into a BP. I think I will be tested on Wednesday because I will be with someone all day (so will be eating with them). I also think I am going to be invited to a social get together. Small food situations like that won't make me gain weight, in fact, I would probably lose if I restrict. I am just going to try my very hardest and do my best all week. Even if I slip up once or something, my goal is to make progress... and to lose that weight!!

http://www.whfoods.com/index.html

just wanted to keep this site... "World's Healthiest Foods" if you are interested

Hey! I am around 96 now. This is the big weekend so I am not sure how often I will be updating. It is really Sunday that I want to be 95 or less so I am hoping for that. :)

Quickly... 98.1 this morning.

Sorry, as you know I am too busy to update much. I was 98.7 tonight though so I am still not too bad...

No time for real update but my morning weigh in was 99.7.
Hmm, think I will be 95 or less on Sunday?

Okay I will water fast tomorrow like I said. I now really have to lose weight quickly because I found out I have an event on Sunday it is very important to look good for (to me). I don't want to miss it.

An update... tell me if you even read this anymore, lol!

I am going to be honest no matter how embarrassing. This morning I was around 100.4, and that is a lot for me! I try to make my average 95 and always stay between 90-100, although I prefer 90-95. The thing is, I am not as close as it seems... I know I am going to B/P again tonight (don't want to explain that) so that won't make tomorrow any better. I really want to be 95 or at least 97 on Saturday morning. Ideally, I would fast starting tomorrow until then and be fine.
However, I spend a lot of time with people and I am afraid they will invite me to eat. They know I had an ED and I have made excuses already! I will hope that doesn't come up, and I already decided to make up an excuse if it is Monday because I WILL water fast on Monday to make up for today. I also may be in a social lunch situation on Friday, and I hope if that happens, restricting will be fine, but that is so close to Saturday, and I don't want to trigger a B/P but any eating usually does. Okay I will write more later.

Hi friends!

I have decided to make a public post because I feel bad I hardly ever do. I am currently extremely ashamed of myself and I am stuggling to get back on track for REAL. Plus, I am very busy, but I do check LJ constantly!!

I promise to make more updates soon! :)

HAPPY APRIL 1!!!!!!

I have not had a sticker day in so long (That has something to do with a calendar I put stickers on "good" ED days by my definition)

But today I can have one! I can, and I will only ruin it if I let myself... so I won't!

Today is a GOOD day... it is!!!!